Since April 2020 I’ve received many questions about payment, concerns about my financial well-being, and concern that I’m not well compensated for the value I provide. Some folks have even inquired as to the possibility of their insurance benefits, like Silver & Fit, might be directed to me personally.

First and foremost, thank you all for your compassion and concern. Please do know that I am not in financial straits due to the closure of Portland Parks & Recreation Community Centers. While my career was upended on March 13, 2020, my wife continues to enjoy her career as a software engineer for a large company who provide network infrastructure for the world. We enjoy the relative security this offers us, including fairly generous benefits. 

Because of this great privilege, I am able to offer online classes for a suggested donation price. Not all yoga teachers/therapists are able to do this, but I am. My wife and I made this decision together and it was not made lightly. 

The suggested contribution for my online classes, Yoga in Chairs and Yoga for Vitality, is $2.50 per 75-minute class.

Special, First Saturday Sessions, Yoga for Grief, Healing Our Relationship with Our Bodies, or Yoga Nidra, suggested contribution is $5-$25.

Private Yoga Instruction: $25-$75 per person, per hour, suggested contribution.

Integrated Movement Therapy Session: $50-$120 per person, per hour, suggested contribtion.

How to pay me:

• PayPal
• Venmo
• Send a check made out to “Samatha Yoga” (check the spelling!) to
  Sherri Koehler/Samatha Yoga
  P.O. Box 80156
  Portland, OR 97219

However, if for any reason at all the price is too dear for you at this time, or at any time, just come. For private sessions, reach out to discuss my sliding scale, don’t assume I will turn away anyone who really needs assistance.

The thing is, teaching classes and working with clients is as much about providing a service to a community I care deeply for, as it is a tool for supporting my mental health. I live with Complex PTSD (Complex Trauma), which means I’m always managing anxiety and am often managing depression as well. Connecting in community to teach is one of my most important tools. It turns out that it is even MORE important during a pandemic!

Come to class. Just come.

Bringing your energy and intention to share with us is payment!

Email me a photograph of flowers in your garden as payment!

Send a paper note to my address above as a payment. I truly treasure and save notes from my students to read when I feeling despair for the world.

What is Kirtan?

Kirtan is a form of both meditation and devotional, Bhakti Yoga, practice. It is done through chanting mantra (Sanskrit: “mind tool”) to bring focus to the mind, both soothe our energetic system while giving a boost to energy, and can also be a practice of devotion to the Divine. A singer, or group of singers, will share a philosophical discourse, an act of communal praise, or even tell a legend together.

A person leads, a kirtankara (or kirtankar), and the community, the Sangha, sings the words back. These gatherings often will include one ore more musical instruments as well as the community of singers.

The Chants

Chanting is done call in response, the Leader chanting a line once, then the community chanting it back once. The Leader repeats the same line once, the community repeats it back. Then the Leader repeats that same set of lines over again. There may be a second “verse” or a new tune to accompany the words.

You’ll find a translation to each chant, the words, with the Leader’s lines in boldface type and the community’s lines in regular typeface. A guide to phonetic pronunciation is in Italic typeface.

Ganesh Mantra

Translation: *Ganesh, Essence of Consciousness, hail Ganesh, Essence of Consciousness.
Ganesh. Ganesh.

*Ganapati is a familiar, sweet way of saying Ganesh’s name.

Ganapati Om Jaya Ganapati Om (2x)
Ganapati Om Jaya Ganapati Om

gah-Nah-PAH-tee OHM Jai-YAH gah-Nah-PAH-tee OHM

Ganapati Ganapati (2x)
Ganapati Ganapati

Gah-Nah-PAH-TEE-EE gah-Nah-pah-tee

Shiva Mantra

Translation: Shiva, Shiva, Shiva, *Shiva, Shiva, Shiva, Shiva, Shiva.
Great Deity, Shiva. Great Deity, Shiva.

*Shambo is another, sweet way of sayingShiva’s name.

Shiva Shiva Shiva Shambo Shiva Shiva Shiva Shambo (2x)
Shiva Shiva Shambo Shiva Shiva Shambo

She-vah She-vah She-vah Shahm-Boh-Oh She-vah She-vah She-vah Sham-BOH

Maha Deva Shambo (2x)
Maha Deva Shambo

Mah-Ha Day-vah Shahm-Boh-Oh Mah-ha day-vah Shahm-boh

Divine Mother Mantra

Translation: Oh *Mother, Protect Me/Us.
Oh Mother, Defend Me/Us.

*Mother indicating Divine Feminine Energy.

O Ma Pahimam, O Ma Rakshamam (2x)
O Ma Pahimam, O Ma Rakshamam

Oh Mah Pah-hee-Mahm Oh Mah-Ah Rak-shah-mahm
Oh Mah Pah-hee-Mahm Oh Mah-Ah Rak-shah-mahm

O Ma Pahimam, O Ma Rakshamam (2x)
O Ma Pahimam, O Ma Rakshamam

Oh Mah Pah-hee-Mahm Oh Mah-Ah Rak-shah-mahm
Oh Mah Pah-hee-Mahm Oh Mah-Ah Rak-shah-mahm

In the Upajjhatthana Sutta  the Buddha reflected upon what he called the Five Remembrances. He reminded us that we cannot escape old age, we cannot escape illness, we cannot escape loss, and we cannot escape death. The only thing we can control is our actions, our thoughts and deeds. It can be seen as very heavy stuff, but is a clarion call to live fully because nothing lasts.

Then along comes the Bṛhadāraṇyaka Upaniṣad, it takes all of this and, doesn’t dismiss it, but tells us that in the midst of unrelenting change we are always whole.   

पूर्णमदः पूर्णमिदं पूर्णात्पूर्णमुदच्यते ।
पूर्णस्य पूर्णमादाय पूर्णमेवावशिष्यते ॥

The Pūrṇam Mantra arises out of this teaching of the Bṛhadāraṇyaka Upaniṣad and is one of what are collectively known as the Shanti Mantras, or Peace Mantras. Mantra like these are chanted before and after the study and discourse, plus at other times, to calm and focus the mind. The Pūrṇam Mantra is chanted before reading the Bṛhadāraṇyaka Upaniṣad and the Isha Upanisad.

Translation: The version I learned during my training in Integrated Movement Therapy (IMT) is my favorite. Stephanie Sisson is the translator, she helped create IMT with Molly Kenny. 

This is whole.
That is whole.
When you take whole from whole
That which remains is whole.
Om. Peace, peace, peace.

Using the Mantra 

Chanting is not only an excellent tool for improving the strength and capacity of our lungs, it also brings focus and calm to an agitated mind. Further, it is a reminder, again and again, that in the midst of change you are still whole.

You can chant it multiple times, closing with the final line on your last chant through.

Sanskrit Mantra in the Latin alphabet (“English”): 

Pūrṇamadaḥ pūrṇamidam
pūrṇāt pūrṇamudacyate
pūrṇasya pūrṇamādāya
pūrṇamevāvaśiṣyate
oṃ śāntiḥ śāntiḥ śāntiḥ

Mantra with phonetic pronunciation:

poornam-adah poornam-i-dahm
poorn-aat poornam-uda-chya-te
poor-na-sya poornam-ah-da-ya
poornam-evaa va-shi-shya-te
Om shaantih shaantih shaantih-i

Today I launched a Resources page here on the site! To start with, you’ll find the worksheet I created for a local chapter of the Better Breathers Club. As I finish projects up, I’ll be posting them here. Right now I’m working on a Quick Start Guide for meditation and I’m co-creating a card to help people learn the Purnam Mantra!

Of course the way to find out about things first is to join my email list!

As I shared at the close of last year, I’ve not been as active with posts or newsletters while going through intense trauma therapy. That is ongoing, continues to be hard and worthy work. This month I decided to restart my personal blog to have a place to process that work, as opposed to sharing via social media accounts.

I’ve been on a journey to heal and integrate everything last year’s trip of miracles and wonders awoke in me.

Healing from Complex Trauma is a journey, one that takes more time and goes in a meandering path that’s filled dead-ends and wrong turns. Yoga is my “multitool” on this journey. It not only keeps me on the path, but it gives me ways to shift my energy, soothe my anxiety, grow my self-understanding, and expand my ability to connect with others.

Last December I had the privilege and honor to train with Molly Lannon Kenny to offer Bedside Yoga for people at the end of life. Many people contributed to my online campaign to make it possible for me to go. I even had a little surplus that I was able to use this autumn to spend a few days in contemplative retreat with my community.

I was absolutely astounded my campaign was successful. I was immediately, profoundly connected to my struggle to see myself as worthy. Grateful and amazed, I experienced cognitive dissonance as the deeply held belief that I’m not worthy conflicted with the very tangible reality that many people find me worthy enough to make a financial commitment to my training!

I continued to struggle into spring, my anxiety beginning to creep back up. It culminated in a decision, made with my therapist, to go back into intensive trauma therapy; the work I’d done a few years ago seemed to be coming apart at the seams. In June I started doing Somatic Attachment-Focused EMDR, the SAFE model aims to help adults who have experience complex trauma. Using this approach we first identified that I have a deeply rooted false belief about myself that ultimately undermines me as an adult.

It isn’t an easy process. We go back to the earliest memories I have associated with my false belief and we work with them until they’re no longer triggering the false belief. Then we move to the next one. In the past 7 months we’ve installed 2 memories; these first ones are uncovering new experiences for me to integrate.

I’ve also been taking in the knowledge that my Mother more than likely had a personality disorder; something that happened because she herself had complex trauma. I’m realizing how intergenerational trauma undermines everything and everyone it touches. I understand that I needed to remove myself completely from my family to heal.

There’s been changes in my teaching schedule this year; I’m teaching fewer classes now. I’ve been using the additional time for healing and creating the foundation for the work I want to do with end-of-life care.

In the new year I’m looking forward to expanding my video offerings, including plans to improve my lighting! I’ll have more blog posts too, but look for more videos and a YouTube channel in the new year! If you haven’t yet, join my mailing list right here!

I was fortunate to get to travel with a friend from Portland and share some costs with. We spent Sunday evening and part of Monday in Puerto Vallarta, not nearly enough time to explore! I know I will want to return, with more time to wander at leisure through this vibrant town. Reminding me of the Kailua-Kona side of the Big Island and New Orleans, with a flair all it’s own, Puerto Vallarta is a place where everyone seems to go to have fun, locals as well as foreigners. Families with young children, hip trendsetters looking to get noticed, folks just there for a little sunshine & sand, and lots of older folks; everyone there to enjoy the views, the food, the music, the waves, and the sun.

We were there in the nine days leading up the the feast day of the Virgin of Guadalupe. This means a procession winds through town to the beautiful Church of Our Lady of Guadalupe every day; we waited on our way to the hotel for one. Fireworks can be expected to randomly go off, any time, night or day. People gather at the cathedral daily to pay their respects to the Virgin. I made a point to offer my thanks for a safe journey when I popped into the cool of the church for a moment to admire the interior.

In the afternoon we all gathered at the airport before heading to the private nature reserve and small resort, Punta Monterrey.  I enjoyed simple, wonderful meals in good company, and spent my nights listening to the sounds of the waves just steps from the doors of my little cottage. I was grateful for the abundant time to rest and integrate the work we were doing.

The training itself, with my teacher Molly Lannon Kenny, gave a boost to my skills, gaining more insight into working with medically fragile folks to provide support. I have started to reach out slowly to people about my plans to work in this area. Once I’ve begun sharing my intention to offer support around end-of-life care I’ve noted there’s no shortage of people around me who’ve recently experienced loss or are dealing with parents who are entering last stages with terminal illnesses. I’m letting the path to how I’ll do more of this work unfold over this year.

In between the deep work I was doing with my new friends in practice, there were moments of profound, and every day beauty that continue to nurture my soul. Moments like walking amidst butterflies after breakfast ever morning as they fluttered around the multitude of flowers growing in abundance everywhere. The sound of dragonflies in the evening as they hunted mosquitos while the sun set and the surf pounded. Then there was the unexpected wonder of seeing baby, Olive Ridley Sea Turtles on our last morning there, while making our way down to the beach for a final ritual together, making it feel all the more precious for the tiny miracles we’d just seen.

One, truly magical afternoon found our whole little group floating together in the ocean. This alone was such a moment of deep connection that my heart was full. Then we heard the whales.

Deep bass notes, clicks, whistles, and higher, violin-like refrains; a veritable choir singing as they traveled south together. In those moments, as small and fragile as I felt, floating on the vastness of the ocean, I felt myself resting in, and connected to, the Divine.

In the weeks that have followed, I’m realizing I’ve taken something else home from the retreat. I’m finding that the grief, and low of depression, I experience very strongly from November into February; hasn’t been as dark as it has felt in past years. It feels like some of the sharp edges of my own grief have been smoothed down, like a piece of rock tumbled against sand until it is polished agate. Something in the rhythm of the waves, the songs of the whales, and in the singing on the beach I did; it all seems to have made my own grief lighter to carry.

Now I teach 10 classes a week that are for adults 60 and older. Younger folks come too, the classes are perfect for people who need a class that is a little slower and has an instructor that’s also a yoga therapist! This year I even presented a poster and a short talk at the Yoga Service Conference, sharing the Yoga in Chairs class I created and offer at the Mt. Scott Community Center three mornings a week.

In working with this age group I see people process a lot of change and grief. Grief for the physical ability they once had. Grief at losing parents. Grief at losing spouses. Grief at losing friends. Then there is the grief of a student who leaves classes because an illness has reached a point where going to yoga is no longer feasible. Having predominantly older students means that someone dear to me is always processing one or many of these kinds of grief.

I feel well prepared for this role of holding space for grief for my older students. When I once practiced with a Zen community one of my service positions was keeping the Merit List. This was a list of people close to members of the community who were either in distress of some nature or who had recently died. In my community we chanted the name of someone recently deceased for 49 days; the time it takes the soul to cross the Bardo. Sometimes I received the news of a death before my teachers. It taught me to be present to grief and to hold space for the grieving.

Years ago, when my teacher, Molly Lannon Kenny, lived in Seattle, Washington, she helped create a program for a hospice center there, the Bailey-Boushay House. She mentioned it during my time training as an Integrated Movement Therapist and whenever she did I’d think to myself that I wanted to know more about bringing yoga into hospice centers. Grief is a singular journey for each of us, we process our losses differently from person to person and, I think, from loss to loss. The presence I developed in my Zen practice, along with the practice I have in holding space for my students, I know will serve me in offering yoga interventions to the dying and those affected by the dying; family & friends and hospice staff.

This December I’m getting my chance to know more; I’m attending a small retreat with my teacher in Mexico to offer Bedside Yoga for end-of-life care. This is a perfect fit with the advanced training I’ve already done to offer integrative yoga to older adults. I’m thrilled to be attending this and it has already prompted me to take care of things like getting a passport with my married name and applying for pre-check on flights since I’m going to be helping with the Yoga Service Conference for the next few years, which means flights to New York.

I’m trying to find ways to raise more money, hoping to ultimately make this training debt-free! if you’ve got a few bucks to spare, I’m running a fundraising campaign and I’d be so grateful for your support.

“Why do we do Restorative Yoga?”

Recently a student asked me this question at the beginning of a class. They added, “I mean, it feels good, but what good is it?”

Restorative Yoga is unlike any other approach to yoga. There’s no balancing, litttle strengthening, and only a bit of stretching. A class may never leave the floor. How is it yoga?

I responded that Restorative Yoga is when we practice resting. While movement is a part of yoga, so is learning to rest. Restorative Yoga helps rest in a way that restores the mind / body / spirit system.

The second and third of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras explains why we undertake the practice of yoga.

1.2: Yoga is the settling of the mind into silence.

1.3: When the mind has settled, we are established in our essential nature, which is unbounded consciousness

More often, the third Sutra talks about how we dwell in our true nature, “Then the Seer (Self) abides in Its own nature.”

When we look deeper into that word, “abide”, particularly in how it has been used across other spiritual traditions, and we come to the belief that to abide is a kind of deep resting. When we’re settled, we rest in such a way that we connect with our essential nature, our True Self.

Why do we need practice resting?

We now live with constant connectivity, we’re always on and alert for the next thing to react to. The lines between work time and personal time are blurred for many people as we’ve become more public in our lives and always connected. In our society we’re rewarded for “going the extra mile” and encouraged to give “110%”.

As a result, we’re lousy at resting. We sleep, but we go from one state of sleep to the next with little to no actual rest. What sleep we do get is usually inadequate to the needs of real rest. People fall into bed, writing one last email, only to awake exhausted, checking a device for what disasters transpired during sleep.

Living this way is not only physically exhausting, but creates mental fatigue and constant low energy. Despite incessant signals to rest from our body and mind, we continue do more. We live in a culture that values productivity, contributors, sending a strong message that your value as a person is measured by how much you’ve done and what you earned.

We’re told to both work hard and, ever more commonly, play even harder. This unsustainable model keeps us in a state of hyperarousal. Our Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) works overtime to help us be alert to threats to our way of life and we channel the urge to fight or flee into the energy to keep being productive, keep reaching the next goal.

The more activated the SNS is, the harder it becomes to rest. Resting becomes elusive, just ask anyone who has ever struggled with insomnia. It can feel like we’re stuck “on”.

If we don’t learn how to drop out of the high alert state into real rest, our bodies and our mental-emotional state show strain. Fatigue can become standard until we are forced to stop through crises, physical or mental, or both. No longer able to fight or flee, we go into the third option of the SNS, we collapse.

When do we truly rest in a way that heals and restores us?

The path for healing for this state of hyperarousal lies in the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS), the “rest and digest” system that enables the optimal state of resting in the essential self.

The PNS supplies the energy that repairs torn muscle fibers and breaks down the contents of the digestive system into the nutrient components needed throughout the body. It is also the system that repairs and creates new connections in the brain as well as increases production of both gray and white matter.

This energy, the energy to repair the whole mind / body system at a cellular level, is also the energy that powers our creativity. That idea about stress fueling creativity turns out to be inaccurate. When we’re stressed, our systems are focused on keeping us alive not on how to write a novel, paint watercolors, or solve a problem. It is the rest state of the PNS that allows for the full flowering of our creativity and curiosity.

Our understanding of the the SNS has created medications to suppress reactivity, helping keep various mental states, like anxiety and depression, from becoming overwhelming. However, there is no medication to turn up the the PNS. That’s where Restorative Yoga comes into the picture.

A Restorative Yoga session will have gentle movements and fully-supported postures held for several minutes. In these held positions the students practice resting. To encouraging settling rest they might take some large in-breaths with long exhales, then return to a natural breath. In my classes I remind students to feel movement in the body on the in-breath and practice letting the body relax into the support of the props with the exhale. Just that, inhaling gentle awareness and exhaling into a state of effortlessness.

In this state of resting in awareness the PNS energy arises and we experience healing on all levels. During Restorative Yoga the less the student actually does, the less effort they make, the more beneficial it is for them, the more activated the PNS becomes.

Rarely in life do we get maximum results for the least effort, but in Restorative Yoga this is exactly how it works. We slow down in order to fully recharge; explore ways to step away from reactivity and into calm abiding . We practice believing ourselves as worthy of nurturing and stillness.

When we allow ourselves to rest in this complete way, we are not only taking steps to repair our whole mind / body system, we’re also abiding in our essential nature.

I’ve been sharing this information with my students, noting how both mindful breathing and focused breath control, prāṇāyāma exercises, help the locus coeruleus to produce just enough noradrenaline to help us focus. In regards to aging brains, this study begins to look into why the longtime meditators have more “youthful” brains; losing less mass than brains of non-meditators. Reduced loss of brain mass may be related to a lowered risk of dementia.

It may be that the state of just enough noradrenaline is the state in which our brain makes new connections, helping us to maintain neuroplasticity. This is not only promising in regards to aging, but also significant in how we approach living with ADHD and PTSD. Empowering people with tools they can use, on their own, anywhere would not only provide relief and support, but rebuild the sense of capability for someone who may feel helpless in the face of anxiety, anger, and depression. I know in my own journey with C-PTSD, prāṇāyāma helped me feel less powerless, particularly when I’m anxious. I love that prāṇāyāma is not only a tool to help in the moment, but that it may support long-term healing through rebuilding connectivity in the brain.

Learning about the function of the locus coeruleus was not only fascinating from a neuroscience perspective, but it resonates with me in my practice as well. In Buddhist practice, we often refer to our path as the Middle Way. This often is related to a tale of a musician going to the Buddha for advice on how to practice. The Buddha responded by asking the musician about the strings on a sitar; what would happen if they were too tight? What if they’re too loose? The musician responded that when too tight, the strings break, and when too loose, no sound is produced.

“That is how you practice. Neither too tight or too loose.”, is said to have been the Buddha’s reply. That is the middle way.

This is an important lesson to take into the whole of our practice. Not being too rigid in any way and keeping enough discipline that we’re not slack. In Western society we’re all too often encouraged to “give 110%”, which is the very definition of too much and explains why burnout is so common. I myself lived many years practicing along the “too tight” mindset and was nearly hospitalized due to exhaustion.

Not only has rediscovering the middle way of practice been a huge benefit for me personally, it has informed the work I do with older adults. Now the majority of my clients and students are age 60 and above, I find myself guiding others in how to find the middle path between challenge and rest. Exploring together a practice of allowing ourselves to make just enough effort that we can feel exertion, but are present, breathing, and even enjoying our bodies. A practice focused on “Just Enough” creates space for my students to be more forgiving to their bodies, less stuck in the energy-draining efforts of resisting and denying the changing of the body.

*There’s a great summary of the study available from Trinity College Dublin as well.

I first learned about Mettā meditation when I practiced with a Zen Buddhist community. One of my teachers at that time, Jan Chozen Bays Roshi, believed that loving-kindness practice was the best thing you could turn to in any situation. Anxious for yourself, Mettā is the right choice. Anxious for someone else? Angry? Despair for a mass tragedy half a world away? Outrage and sorrow and children being shot in school? In all these situations, Chozen would remind us, Mettā is the right response.

 Mettā, loving-kindness from Pali, is considered one of the four sublime attitudes of an enlightened being, the Brahmavihāras, which also include compassion, empathetic joy and equanimity. Applying Mettā to our own lives helps us to treat ourselves and others with greater compassion. Starting from a place of self-care and friendliness within ourselves gives us the resources to offer compassion and love to all living beings.

While Mettā meditation is usually associated with Buddhist communities, it arises out of the rich tradition found in Vedic texts. The Upanishads discuss the virtue of Maitrī, also found alongside compassion, empathetic joy and equanimity, being the the first of the Four Immeasurables, the Apramāṇa. These become the Brahmavihāras in Buddhist practice. Practicing the virtue of Maitrī is also encouraged in Jain texts and was included by Patanjali in the Yoga Sutras.

Mettā gives focus to our natural responses and helps us to be soothed enough to respond more fully. If we find ourselves still unable to respond, we can use Mettā practice to hold ourselves gently rather than fall into negative self-judgement about our inability to somehow to rise to the occasion as we think we ought to.

How do do Mettā Meditation: 

For you practice you will find a comfortable, seated posture. I’ve also found this to be a rich practice to bring to walking meditation as well as something for my busy mind to do while I’m riding on public transportation, stuck in traffic, waiting in lines, etc.

You will do four rounds of offering Mettā.

1. For yourself.
2. For someone you care for (personal love).
3. For someone you feel neutral to (impersonal love).
4. For someone you have a difficult relationship with.

The phrases used during each round may vary and you can change things to suit your specific practice that moment. I personally use two phrases for most of my Mettā meditation practices.

May I be free from anxiety and fear.
May I be peaceful and happy*.

For the second round the “I” would change to the name of the person you care for. The third round you would identify the neutral person, e.g., “May the cashier at the market be free from anxiety and fear.” In the third round you would again use the name of the difficult person you are directing  to.

Chozen would remind us that some days that word “happy” feels too difficult to work with. Rather than berate ourselves for being unable to wish happiness to someone we perceive as doing great harm, we should instead change that wording to, “May that person be peaceful and content.”

I often like to end classes with an inclusive set of Mettā phrases:

May all living beings be free from anxiety and fear.
May all living beings be peaceful and content.

Mettā Variations:

There are lots of variations of these phrases, find or create ones that resonate for you. Here are some additional examples to consider.

From the Metta Institute: 

May I be happy.
May I be well.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful and at ease.

From Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield: 

May I be filled with lovingkindness.
May I be safe from inner and outer dangers.
May I be well in body and mind.
May I be at ease and happy.

A Traditional Tibetan Buddhist Prayer from Padmasambhava Buddhist Center:

May all beings have happiness and the cause of happiness.
May they be free of suffering and the cause of suffering.
May they never be disassociated from the supreme happiness which is without suffering.
May they remain in the boundless equanimity, free from both attachment to close ones and rejection of others.