Since April 2020 I’ve received many questions about payment, concerns about my financial well-being, and concern that I’m not well compensated for the value I provide. Some folks have even inquired as to the possibility of their insurance benefits, like Silver & Fit, might be directed to me personally.

First and foremost, thank you all for your compassion and concern. Please do know that I am not in financial straits due to the closure of Portland Parks & Recreation Community Centers. While my career was upended on March 13, 2020, my wife continues to enjoy her career as a software engineer for a large company who provide network infrastructure for the world. We enjoy the relative security this offers us, including fairly generous benefits. 

Because of this great privilege, I am able to offer online classes for a suggested donation price. Not all yoga teachers/therapists are able to do this, but I am. My wife and I made this decision together and it was not made lightly. 

The suggested contribution for my online classes, Yoga in Chairs and Yoga for Vitality, is $2.50 per 75-minute class.

Special, First Saturday Sessions, Yoga for Grief, Healing Our Relationship with Our Bodies, or Yoga Nidra, suggested contribution is $5-$25.

Private Yoga Instruction: $25-$75 per person, per hour, suggested contribution.

Integrated Movement Therapy Session: $50-$120 per person, per hour, suggested contribtion.

How to pay me:

• PayPal
• Venmo
• Send a check made out to “Samatha Yoga” (check the spelling!) to
  Sherri Koehler/Samatha Yoga
  P.O. Box 80156
  Portland, OR 97219

However, if for any reason at all the price is too dear for you at this time, or at any time, just come. For private sessions, reach out to discuss my sliding scale, don’t assume I will turn away anyone who really needs assistance.

The thing is, teaching classes and working with clients is as much about providing a service to a community I care deeply for, as it is a tool for supporting my mental health. I live with Complex PTSD (Complex Trauma), which means I’m always managing anxiety and am often managing depression as well. Connecting in community to teach is one of my most important tools. It turns out that it is even MORE important during a pandemic!

Come to class. Just come.

Bringing your energy and intention to share with us is payment!

Email me a photograph of flowers in your garden as payment!

Send a paper note to my address above as a payment. I truly treasure and save notes from my students to read when I feeling despair for the world.

In the Upajjhatthana Sutta  the Buddha reflected upon what he called the Five Remembrances. He reminded us that we cannot escape old age, we cannot escape illness, we cannot escape loss, and we cannot escape death. The only thing we can control is our actions, our thoughts and deeds. It can be seen as very heavy stuff, but is a clarion call to live fully because nothing lasts.

Then along comes the Bṛhadāraṇyaka Upaniṣad, it takes all of this and, doesn’t dismiss it, but tells us that in the midst of unrelenting change we are always whole.   

पूर्णमदः पूर्णमिदं पूर्णात्पूर्णमुदच्यते ।
पूर्णस्य पूर्णमादाय पूर्णमेवावशिष्यते ॥

The Pūrṇam Mantra arises out of this teaching of the Bṛhadāraṇyaka Upaniṣad and is one of what are collectively known as the Shanti Mantras, or Peace Mantras. Mantra like these are chanted before and after the study and discourse, plus at other times, to calm and focus the mind. The Pūrṇam Mantra is chanted before reading the Bṛhadāraṇyaka Upaniṣad and the Isha Upanisad.

Translation: The version I learned during my training in Integrated Movement Therapy (IMT) is my favorite. Stephanie Sisson is the translator, she helped create IMT with Molly Kenny. 

This is whole.
That is whole.
When you take whole from whole
That which remains is whole.
Om. Peace, peace, peace.

Using the Mantra 

Chanting is not only an excellent tool for improving the strength and capacity of our lungs, it also brings focus and calm to an agitated mind. Further, it is a reminder, again and again, that in the midst of change you are still whole.

You can chant it multiple times, closing with the final line on your last chant through.

Sanskrit Mantra in the Latin alphabet (“English”): 

Pūrṇamadaḥ pūrṇamidam
pūrṇāt pūrṇamudacyate
pūrṇasya pūrṇamādāya
pūrṇamevāvaśiṣyate
oṃ śāntiḥ śāntiḥ śāntiḥ

Mantra with phonetic pronunciation:

poornam-adah poornam-i-dahm
poorn-aat poornam-uda-chya-te
poor-na-sya poornam-ah-da-ya
poornam-evaa va-shi-shya-te
Om shaantih shaantih shaantih-i

“Why do we do Restorative Yoga?”

Recently a student asked me this question at the beginning of a class. They added, “I mean, it feels good, but what good is it?”

Restorative Yoga is unlike any other approach to yoga. There’s no balancing, litttle strengthening, and only a bit of stretching. A class may never leave the floor. How is it yoga?

I responded that Restorative Yoga is when we practice resting. While movement is a part of yoga, so is learning to rest. Restorative Yoga helps rest in a way that restores the mind / body / spirit system.

The second and third of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras explains why we undertake the practice of yoga.

1.2: Yoga is the settling of the mind into silence.

1.3: When the mind has settled, we are established in our essential nature, which is unbounded consciousness

More often, the third Sutra talks about how we dwell in our true nature, “Then the Seer (Self) abides in Its own nature.”

When we look deeper into that word, “abide”, particularly in how it has been used across other spiritual traditions, and we come to the belief that to abide is a kind of deep resting. When we’re settled, we rest in such a way that we connect with our essential nature, our True Self.

Why do we need practice resting?

We now live with constant connectivity, we’re always on and alert for the next thing to react to. The lines between work time and personal time are blurred for many people as we’ve become more public in our lives and always connected. In our society we’re rewarded for “going the extra mile” and encouraged to give “110%”.

As a result, we’re lousy at resting. We sleep, but we go from one state of sleep to the next with little to no actual rest. What sleep we do get is usually inadequate to the needs of real rest. People fall into bed, writing one last email, only to awake exhausted, checking a device for what disasters transpired during sleep.

Living this way is not only physically exhausting, but creates mental fatigue and constant low energy. Despite incessant signals to rest from our body and mind, we continue do more. We live in a culture that values productivity, contributors, sending a strong message that your value as a person is measured by how much you’ve done and what you earned.

We’re told to both work hard and, ever more commonly, play even harder. This unsustainable model keeps us in a state of hyperarousal. Our Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) works overtime to help us be alert to threats to our way of life and we channel the urge to fight or flee into the energy to keep being productive, keep reaching the next goal.

The more activated the SNS is, the harder it becomes to rest. Resting becomes elusive, just ask anyone who has ever struggled with insomnia. It can feel like we’re stuck “on”.

If we don’t learn how to drop out of the high alert state into real rest, our bodies and our mental-emotional state show strain. Fatigue can become standard until we are forced to stop through crises, physical or mental, or both. No longer able to fight or flee, we go into the third option of the SNS, we collapse.

When do we truly rest in a way that heals and restores us?

The path for healing for this state of hyperarousal lies in the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS), the “rest and digest” system that enables the optimal state of resting in the essential self.

The PNS supplies the energy that repairs torn muscle fibers and breaks down the contents of the digestive system into the nutrient components needed throughout the body. It is also the system that repairs and creates new connections in the brain as well as increases production of both gray and white matter.

This energy, the energy to repair the whole mind / body system at a cellular level, is also the energy that powers our creativity. That idea about stress fueling creativity turns out to be inaccurate. When we’re stressed, our systems are focused on keeping us alive not on how to write a novel, paint watercolors, or solve a problem. It is the rest state of the PNS that allows for the full flowering of our creativity and curiosity.

Our understanding of the the SNS has created medications to suppress reactivity, helping keep various mental states, like anxiety and depression, from becoming overwhelming. However, there is no medication to turn up the the PNS. That’s where Restorative Yoga comes into the picture.

A Restorative Yoga session will have gentle movements and fully-supported postures held for several minutes. In these held positions the students practice resting. To encouraging settling rest they might take some large in-breaths with long exhales, then return to a natural breath. In my classes I remind students to feel movement in the body on the in-breath and practice letting the body relax into the support of the props with the exhale. Just that, inhaling gentle awareness and exhaling into a state of effortlessness.

In this state of resting in awareness the PNS energy arises and we experience healing on all levels. During Restorative Yoga the less the student actually does, the less effort they make, the more beneficial it is for them, the more activated the PNS becomes.

Rarely in life do we get maximum results for the least effort, but in Restorative Yoga this is exactly how it works. We slow down in order to fully recharge; explore ways to step away from reactivity and into calm abiding . We practice believing ourselves as worthy of nurturing and stillness.

When we allow ourselves to rest in this complete way, we are not only taking steps to repair our whole mind / body system, we’re also abiding in our essential nature.

I first learned about Mettā meditation when I practiced with a Zen Buddhist community. One of my teachers at that time, Jan Chozen Bays Roshi, believed that loving-kindness practice was the best thing you could turn to in any situation. Anxious for yourself, Mettā is the right choice. Anxious for someone else? Angry? Despair for a mass tragedy half a world away? Outrage and sorrow and children being shot in school? In all these situations, Chozen would remind us, Mettā is the right response.

 Mettā, loving-kindness from Pali, is considered one of the four sublime attitudes of an enlightened being, the Brahmavihāras, which also include compassion, empathetic joy and equanimity. Applying Mettā to our own lives helps us to treat ourselves and others with greater compassion. Starting from a place of self-care and friendliness within ourselves gives us the resources to offer compassion and love to all living beings.

While Mettā meditation is usually associated with Buddhist communities, it arises out of the rich tradition found in Vedic texts. The Upanishads discuss the virtue of Maitrī, also found alongside compassion, empathetic joy and equanimity, being the the first of the Four Immeasurables, the Apramāṇa. These become the Brahmavihāras in Buddhist practice. Practicing the virtue of Maitrī is also encouraged in Jain texts and was included by Patanjali in the Yoga Sutras.

Mettā gives focus to our natural responses and helps us to be soothed enough to respond more fully. If we find ourselves still unable to respond, we can use Mettā practice to hold ourselves gently rather than fall into negative self-judgement about our inability to somehow to rise to the occasion as we think we ought to.

How do do Mettā Meditation: 

For you practice you will find a comfortable, seated posture. I’ve also found this to be a rich practice to bring to walking meditation as well as something for my busy mind to do while I’m riding on public transportation, stuck in traffic, waiting in lines, etc.

You will do four rounds of offering Mettā.

1. For yourself.
2. For someone you care for (personal love).
3. For someone you feel neutral to (impersonal love).
4. For someone you have a difficult relationship with.

The phrases used during each round may vary and you can change things to suit your specific practice that moment. I personally use two phrases for most of my Mettā meditation practices.

May I be free from anxiety and fear.
May I be peaceful and happy*.

For the second round the “I” would change to the name of the person you care for. The third round you would identify the neutral person, e.g., “May the cashier at the market be free from anxiety and fear.” In the third round you would again use the name of the difficult person you are directing  to.

Chozen would remind us that some days that word “happy” feels too difficult to work with. Rather than berate ourselves for being unable to wish happiness to someone we perceive as doing great harm, we should instead change that wording to, “May that person be peaceful and content.”

I often like to end classes with an inclusive set of Mettā phrases:

May all living beings be free from anxiety and fear.
May all living beings be peaceful and content.

Mettā Variations:

There are lots of variations of these phrases, find or create ones that resonate for you. Here are some additional examples to consider.

From the Metta Institute: 

May I be happy.
May I be well.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful and at ease.

From Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield: 

May I be filled with lovingkindness.
May I be safe from inner and outer dangers.
May I be well in body and mind.
May I be at ease and happy.

A Traditional Tibetan Buddhist Prayer from Padmasambhava Buddhist Center:

May all beings have happiness and the cause of happiness.
May they be free of suffering and the cause of suffering.
May they never be disassociated from the supreme happiness which is without suffering.
May they remain in the boundless equanimity, free from both attachment to close ones and rejection of others.

I especially liked this piece of Psalm 112, “Light shines in the darkness for the upright; the righteous are merciful and full of compassion.”  

It has me consider the idea that Practice is its own reward, more commonly seen as Virtue is its own reward. Living an ethical life is what provides you with light in the darkness. It is through practice that we create the cracks that let the light in. The light that creates the space within us, the grace within us, to offer compassion generously to other beings.

This section from Matthew is one I’ve heard a lot, in whole and in bits; “You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works…”

That section ends with, “and give glory to your Father in heaven.”, but I think the teaching of it stands alone without that last bit. I like just focusing on this simple directive, “Let your light shine before others.”

Shine, don’t hide away the fruits of your practice. We shine so that our light helps others, it goes without saying that our service in compassion, in light, to others will glorify the Divine.

The last teaching of the Buddha is often said to be something like, “Be your own light.”*

Mary Oliver’s poem, The Buddha’s Last Instruction renders this directive so beautifully, “Make of yourself a light”, and her poem goes on to explore how in becoming a light we are transformed into something of inexplicable value.

It feels a little large, too big at times to try and live as a light to the world. I’m living through political upheaval the likes I’ve never seen in my lifetime. In the course of a few days in January my home country went from having a full democracy to a “flawed democracy”. Being a light in dark times is hard, yet so vital and more necessary then ever before.

Most of us don’t have the energy to light up the whole world, really no one does. Some days we might not even have the energy to shine very brightly for ourselves, much less the rest of the world. In order to make it feel at all possible, and to keep Nihilism away, we need this directive to be small enough to accomplish.

The founder of the San Francisco Zen Center, Shunryū Suzuki Roshi, often would turn this instruction around a bit, “In the Lotus Sutra, Buddha says to light up one corner– not the whole world. Just make it clear where you are.”

He was known to tell his students variations of this teaching and on one occasion he said it this way, “We say, to shine one corner of the world — just one corner. If you shine one corner, then people around you will feel better. You will always feel as if you are carrying an umbrella to protect people from heat or rain.”

I love Suzuki’s teaching, it makes the directive to be a light seem attainable. We don’t need to worry about being enough light for the whole world, just shine a little light where you are. There is something of the adage to “think globally, act locally” in this directive when viewed this way. Just become enough of a light to make it clear in your corner of the world, that’s all you need to consistently do.

Those days when you feel strong enough to shine your light brightly out over a larger community, you’ll do that.

On the rest of the days, just shine enough in your corner to make it clear where you are. Just by doing this, by shining in just your corner alone, you offer light and encouragement to those around you.

*This is sometimes thought be something restated from the Mahāyāna Mahāparinirvāṇa Sūtra, or more commonly simply the Nirvāṇa Sūtra. Some teachers have also attributed this directive to the Lotus Sūtra.

Just when we get our metaphorical ducks in a row, the universe winds up and sends change our way. Sometimes for good, sometimes we just have a little wobble and keep on going, and sometimes our life as we know it is altered completely. The only thing we can have any kind of control over in this changing world is how we respond to the tides of change.

Our words and deeds are the only ground upon which we can make a stand. So goes the Buddhist teaching in the Upajjhatthana Sutta, the summation of the Four Remembrances. It reminds us that we are of the nature of change. We grow old, we get sick, we have relationships, our relationships end, we die, the people we love die.

This is some pretty heavy stuff, if we’re not diligent we can easily fall prey to the lure that there’s nothing we can do. Just sit it out and hope that eventually change swings back in your favor. There’s a lot of people that live their life thinking this way. It is difficult not to do just this, wait it out and hope that you’ll be able to ride out the hard times. It is far easier to turn avert our eyes from the suffering around us and focus instead upon what will make us happy in the immediate future.

However, our practice isn’t in a bubble. We are a part of the world and our practice gives us tools for living compassionately and ethically. To my mind, both compassion and ethics demand some level of involvement. Practicing ahimsa (nonviolence, the first of the Yamas) isn’t just a directive that we, ourselves cause no direct harm, but that we also do not sit by quietly while others are being harmed. If we practice satya, (truthfulness, the second of the Yamas), it isn’t just upon us to be honest in our thoughts, words, and actions, but that we don’t just ignore it, saying nothing, when the leaders of our countries are lying.

Artwork by Shepard Fairey for The Amplifier Foundation

Living our Yoga demands involvement.

This doesn’t mean you must go to the next protest. I personally cause myself more harm than good protesting, something I discovered about myself protesting the first Gulf War. I live with hyper-vigilance, part of life with Complex PTSD from developmental trauma. Being jostled around by any amount of strangers, even perfectly lovely ones, really leaves my energy depleted and my body aching from the muscles tensing. That’s not the only way to be involved. You don’t need to pick the hardest thing, but find something you feel able to do.

At no point in my life have I ever more keenly felt the uncertainty of change then right now. I’ve been trying to find words to talk about this since the election in November. It has taken a great deal to surmount despair and teach some days, but I’m reminded that connecting with community through teaching is vital. I’ve been told by students and friends that my teaching is going to be needed now, more then ever before.

Andre Lorde said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

With that in mind, I’m committed to offering classes that help people explore how to practice gratitude, compassion, generosity, and kindness. Providing tools to help relieve the stress of our vigilant attention to the changes happening in our world, and the exhaustion that comes from reaching out to help those who will suffer most from the changes that will be coming. To bear witness and speak out against injustice and hatred is hard work, but it is the work that Living our Yoga demands.

In the spirit of reaching out, we need to grow and strengthen our Beloved Community. Reach out to people, invite them to other events. Tell students about other activities you’re involved in. My wife and I are thinking about ways to expand and create community, to get people connected beyond just a workplace. Look into how we start recreating our Third Places. In February I’m coordinating a couple of radical postcard making gatherings to send postcards of support to various organizations fighting for justice.

We can all take more time in every interaction to be kind, to see the person you’re interacting with as a whole being and not “just a clerk” (parking attendant, barista, waiter, etc.). Even if you’re in a hurry, make eye contact, let people know you see them. Tell the stranger at the grocery store her hijab is beautiful, you’ll both have a better day for doing it. Spend more time connecting and less time rushing through the day, caught up inside your own world.

We’re all just humans here, suffering together. We all just want to be valued and seen for who we are. Love everyone, it doesn’t need to be  personal, just love more,

Don’t just sit there on your cushion, or move on through your Sun Salutations, hoping that if you just wait it out, things will get better. Do something, find what you’re able to do and help. When you’re tired from doing, from watching, from speaking out, take time to care for yourself. Make a healthy meal, don’t skip your daily practice, connect with people who love you.

When we make time for self-care, we’re making sure we’re going to have the energy for the long struggle for equality and justice for all living beings.

May all beings be free from anxiety and fear.
May all beings be peaceful and content.

#resist

Why am I giving you a weather forecast? Well, today is a perfect example of why we cultivate a practice, a Sādhanā, that is personal and portable, that doesn’t require a particular place or other person to facilitate it.

On a business trip, staying in a bland hotel? No problem, you have your own practice. Camping on a mountain lakeshore with no facilities? No problem, you have a personal practice! Winter weather has your iced into your home, like I am today? You’ve got this, it isn’t a problem when you have a practice you can rely on.

The first of the Yoga Sutras informs us that, “Now begins the practice of Yoga.”

This has a lot of meaning and layers to it, but for me the first layer of meaning is about being fully present in the moment. When you are present, feeling the breath in your body, and in awareness of the whole self, that’s Yoga. Since being in a state of Yoga is a matter of mindful attention, no special place, person, or set of props is necessary to get there. You’re already there!

How you express your Yoga, through movement (Asana, the postures), breath, (Pranayama), or through cultivating that focused, present awareness, Dhāraṇā, through meditation, is up to you. Keep in mind that a practice that includes some of each of these will best nurture the whole mind / body system. My daily practice even includes time for self-study, Svādhyāya, through journaling.

The whole point is that you always can practice. Now is when practice begins!

Not sure where to start? 

• Set the kitchen timer for 5 minutes and stand or sit, being mindful of the sensation of the breath moving in and out of your body.
• Tree pose, right now, as you’re reading this blog post! Standing Cat/Cow, some side bends (moon pose), or how about a Dancer!
• Get into a comfortable seated posture, set a timer for a few minutes, and practice slowing your breath down. Expanding the inhale as deep as comfortably possible. Slowing down and completing a full exhale.
• Don’t worry that you don’t know the names or the “right order”, just do your favorite poses for a few breaths each, or longer. Try moving in and out of them with your breath, creating your very own Vinyāsa, flowing sequence.
• Consider a private session to create a personalized practice that best suits the needs of your whole body and life!

Photo courtesy of Christie Koehler, 2017

I have a difficult relationship with the times I’m not feeling well. Living with chronic pain can mean that is is really difficult to not resent anything that upsets the delicate balance that allows me to participate fully in life. On the other hand, being forced to stop and rest due to illness provides some good opportunities to practice, particularly with the Yamas, the ethical rules for right living in the practice of Yoga.  Acknowledging that I’m ill and responding to it appropriately, without resentment, helps me to be mindful of Satya, truthfulness.

When I don’t teach I feel anxious about money. Devoting my life to making Yoga my vocation as well as my avocation, and resisting the enormous temptation to return to technology work against my doctor’s orders, has come with a 93% pay cut. Starting a business, particularly one that is so much a part of my heart, can be terrifying and way out of my comfort zone. However, pushing myself to teach when I’m ill not only increases the chance of my staying ill for a lot longer, or getting much more sick, but it also is absolutely disrespectful of my students. Teaching at the onset of a virus could pass it along to students, many of mine have more vulnerable health to begin with and it would be unconscionable for me to risk their health because of my own anxiety about money. This really reflects Asteya, non-stealing, for me, as I would be stealing the good health of others.

In order that we are not tempted to steal we are encouraged to recognize that we have desires, but to be modest in them, trustworthy, and respectful in our dealings with others. We may eventually come to realize the inherent impermanence in the idea of anything that is “mine” or “theirs” to steal. With this practice, we cultivate the space to be more giving of our resources, possessions, and self.

When teaching students, in assuming the responsibility of guiding other people, I must be giving of my resources. I must be accountable to the students and mindful the trust they place in another person to teach them. Although it is good to desire to see students attain correct posture, this should be moderated by respect and compassion for each student’s ability.

When I have added that positive side to it, the affirmation of life, the concept of Ahimsa becomes much richer and fuller for me. I not only look at how my choices in the world can be a voice for harm-reduction, but for how those choices also cultivate the lives of those around me. It moves me towards slower responses so I have time for greater consideration for the person I am interacting with. It involves being mindful especially when my own irritation arises and learning how not to react instantly. This practice helps me recognize that there are far less harmful ways of achieving results than letting people know I am irritated with their performance. On the occasions when my approach does not mesh well with some one’s personality it helps remind me to not hold onto comments, using negative ones to judge myself relentlessly.

These lessons grow my ability to teach. Ahimsa practice moves me towards deep listening, confirmations, and gentle corrections. I watch my students carefully checking not only for adjustments to alignment and posture, but for strain and upset. Strain can lead to injury of the body, which can be an emotional injury as well. I encourage them to make great effort and feel the heat of it, but with compassion and awareness of where they are in the present. I request that they not merely endure, suffering through class.